The Power of Accountability: The Constructive Way to Use “IF”

“If only I had done this, then things could have turned out so differently.”

“If I bring the right people, focus on the vision, and own the cercumstances, I could drive the goal forward.”

Both statements start with “if,” but they live in different worlds. One dabbles in regret. The other fuels possibility.

The phrase “control what you can control” gets thrown around often, but sometimes it sounds like a way of throwing in the towel. Like we’re flowing with the tide instead of owning the moment. But at its core, this mindset is about perspective—recognizing what is truly within our power. And if something seems out of reach, maybe it’s something we can learn to own. Maybe there’s a path to influence it.

Those who take ownership over their part in a moment—who accept limitations but also recognize the potential for growth—often get a second shot. And next time, they might just have what’s needed to succeed.

Accountability isn’t about being weighed down by guilt. It’s not about taking on blame for things outside your control or dwelling in the past. It’s about owning your role—your actions, decisions, and even inactions—in situations where you had influence. Many of the circumstances we face are self-induced or self-imposed. And that’s not something to beat yourself up over. It’s something to learn from.

The word “if” can be dangerous when it’s used to justify or nullify our actions:

“If I had only known…”

“If I had done something different…”

That mindset leads to an endless cycle—one that keeps you stuck and incomplete. But there’s another way.

What if “if” became a plan of action?

“If I do this, then that will happen.”

Now it becomes a strategy. A roadmap. A marker for growth.

Shifting the meaning of the word changes its connotation. It creates a healthy form of accountability—one that focuses on what you can do, rather than what you should have done. The past is out of your hands, but your perspective moving forward is still yours to shape.

Grace is key. Grace for yourself. Grace for others. That’s what allows you to use the power of words, like “if,” as a tool—not a trap. Instead of spiraling down into self-doubt, let “if” become the starting point of progress. Write it on a whiteboard. Turn it into a goal. Let it lead you to the vision you hold in your mind.

Because as Dr. Kevin Elko said:

“Don’t be about the circumstances—be about the vision.”