Solving for Others, Solving for the Self
To truly take ownership of a problem, one must solve it for someone else. In speaking it, in doing it for another, the solution reveals itself—not just for them, but for oneself. It is through an objective mindset that we can resolve what our subjective minds struggle to untangle.
This is why I find myself speaking to a future self or a future child—as a way to step outside of my own biases. In doing so, I am, in essence, preaching to myself, untangling my own worries and thoughts through speech and writing. It is a great gift of clarity, one that rises when the universe deems it as the right moment.
The Ego’s Role: A Path to Self-Discovery
The ego craves respect, recognition, and validation from others. Because of this, there is an extrinsic drive to be of help to someone else—yet in that very process, we benefit ourselves too. The challenge, then, is to develop the skill and ability for the self to interact with oneself without the need for an external companion. For another entity is not always present, nor should their presence be a condition for self-understanding.
At first, this practice may feel odd, even uncomfortable. But over time, as confidence grows, you will become so comfortable with yourself that when you speak to others, you are, in essence, speaking to yourself. The beauty of this is that others, too, benefit from this interaction. It becomes an exchange, not because you seek their understanding, but because you are uncovering something essential within yourself—and they, in turn, reap the fruit of that process.
Resistance and Flow: The Conversations That Matter
Where there is resistance, there is a conversation to be had. Where there is flow, the self has a hold. The ego is the key—it signals where deeper exploration is needed. By leaning into these moments, using them as opportunities to delve into the elements of the self that need work, you accumulate a collection of wisdom.
And in time, these moments become invaluable—both for sharing with others and for reminding yourself of the truths you once knew, but may have forgotten.
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